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15
reasons to trade in your boyfriend
William
D. Hicks, Match.com
You
know it’s time to trade in your boyfriend for a terrier when…
1.
He claims he’ll never, ever cheat on you, but he cheated on
his ex in order to be with you.
2.
He’s always comparing you to an ex.
3.
He refuses to kiss you because that is “unmanly,” and
he maintains a “straight-date” girlfriend for work functions.
4.
He continues to see his ex but “only as friends.” They
see each other on the same nights as when they were dating, and
he refuses to tell the ex that he’s dating you now because
he doesn’t want “to hurt his feelings.”
5.
He won’t introduce you to his friends until you're “on
solid ground.” But you’ve been dating him exclusively
for six months!
6.
He spends more time online doing “research” than with
you, but he can never explain what he’s researching.
7.
He works out at the gay gym every night and on weekends for its
“health benefits” but never builds any muscle… and
actually seems to be gaining weight.
8.
He breaks up with you when his ex is single — then wants to
make up when his ex is involved.
9.
He loves to go out with his friends, but every time you suggest
a night out, he has “a once in a lifetime” sporting event
that he must watch.
10.
In your four years together, the only time he’s ever suggested
moving in together was after you’d threatened to leave him.
11.
The closer you get too moving in together, the more he asks you
to “give him space.”
12.
He loves you when you leave him but needs “more time to himself”
when you’re together.
13.
When you ask him to move in with you, he thinks it would be “pure
hell.”
14.
After you start living together, he spends hours driving around
alone every night to clear his mind.
15.
He lies about little things, like which bar he went to or who he
met.
At
least terriers don’t lie or bring you emotional distress. They
lick you when you get home, protect you from intruders and love
you unconditionally. Now if only I could find a boyfriend like that.
Try a Match.com;
you could find your puppy love today!
15
reasons to trade in your boyfriend by William D. Hicks
© Match.com
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